What's New in Old News?
The official newsletter of the Peripatetic Historian. October 2022, Vol. 2, no. 5.
Don’t Trust Women or Businessmen
A Chicago orator counsels university law students
If Colonel James Hamilton Lewis was to be believed, women—especially old ladies—and businessmen were the most likely to perjure themselves in a courtroom. This controversial warning, delivered in a 1908 lecture to two hundred law students at Illinois’ Northwestern University, made the front page of the Chicago Tribune. His ill-considered remarks sparked a minor controversy and probably cost him the governor’s office.
“Remember, Gentlemen of the bar,” said Lewis, “an oath means nothing to a woman and, as Horace has so truthfully expressed it, ‘when a woman starts out to perjure herself, all H—— cannot keep her to her record.’”
Women, he argued, only came to court for two reasons—to defend a friend or to secure revenge for past wrongs and imagined slights. They were horribly biased, unreliable, and a danger to the practicing litigator.
The female witness was a hand grenade, primed to explode in the witness stand. “Remember that a woman is a strange animal and never question her as to her age. Let the cross examiner do that and make an enemy for life.”
Businessmen were also notorious liars—but for a different reason. The businessman, suggested Lewis, was reluctant to confess ignorance of any matter. “He is an incidental liar, for his monumental vanity will not allow him to admit that there is anything in any case that he does not know…He will give you his version, his opinion, what he thinks, and his verbosity and pomposity will enable the skillful cross examiner to turn him upon the lance of his own vanity until he has turned a great hole in him.”
Despite the defects and dangers of women and businessmen, concluded Lewis, no witness was more problematic than an elderly lady. “Old ladies are dangerous on the witness stand: they destroy you…There is no limit to the damage a vindictive old lady can do.”
Lewis illustrated his point with a transcript from one of his recent battles with an old lady:
“Your name is Mrs Quinn, I believe?”
“Miss Quinn.”
“Did I understand you to say that you were near the [railroad] track?”
“I don’t know what you understand. You may be deaf for all I know.”
The interview continued in this painful vein until Miss Quinn ended her testimony with a question of her own: “Why don’t you shave your whiskers?”
“You see, gentlemen,” concluded Lewis, “that I cannot emphasize too much the value of the exercise of deference at all times and under all circumstances to old ladies.”
It would have been instructive if Lewis had elected to elaborate on the exercise of deference. His strong views about the qualities of witnesses that a litigator might face came at a particularly awkward moment. Six days earlier he had announced his candidacy for the office of governor; this address to the Northwestern University law students was his campaign debut.
The Chicago Inter Ocean, the Chicago Tribune’s main rival, attempted damage control for Lewis’ unfortunate remarks. “We are approaching days of political strife and bitterness—indeed, we are already in the midst of them—and it is not surprising to those who know the world and its ways that a simple little remark, intended only to convey a pleasant little thought concerning the loveliest creatures the sun has ever shown upon, has been magnified and misunderstood for the basest of political purposes.”
A travesty, a misunderstanding. One exploited by the Colonel’s adversaries for political gain. Nevertheless, opined the newspaper, Lewis would have ruffled fewer feminine feathers if he had restricted himself to a better-focused statement of his ideas, like this succinct gem composed by the Inter Ocean staff: “It is not wise for us to believe everything a woman tells us when she tells us what she believes to be the truth.”
Oil upon the stormy seas.
Colonel James Hamilton Lewis failed to win election to the governor’s mansion. He did, however, persuade voters to send him to the US Senate in 1913, 1930, and 1936. He died in office in 1939.
He refused the razor’s allure, right to the end.
Comet Madness
Four and a half months remain until Comet Madness flies into a bookstore near you. The book is in the hands of the printer and attention here at the Madness headquarters has turned to publicity and promotion.
I am beginning to book speaking engagements—virtual broadcasts, live from Palestine—and will have details as we near those dates. Stay tuned.
Otherwise, the following links will allow you to pre-order a copy (or ten) to make sure you receive your book as quickly as possible.
The Peripatetic Historian Blog-date
Regular readers will remember that I have resumed publishing a weekly blog on my web-site (https://richardjgoodrich.com/Blog.html). New installments arrive every Tuesday morning (Palestinian time). Here’s a handy link to the blog’s table of contents:
The blog revolves around three themes: history, travel, and the question “what is it like to live in a country that is not your own?” That country, at the moment, is Palestine.
Next year, who knows?
Recent Blog Posts:
PeriBlog VII: The Church of the Holy Sepulchre. I explore Jerusalem’s Old City and the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, built on the spot where, some believe, Jesus was crucified and interred after his execution.
PeriBlog VIII: The Western (Wailing) Wall and the Holy Esplanade. I continue my investigation of the Old City with a visit to one of the most hotly-contested pieces of real estate on the planet. An ongoing source of tension between the Jews and Muslims, the Western Wall and the Islamic mosques where the Hebrew temple once stood are on my itinerary.
PeriBlog IX: The Last Taxi to Ramallah. If you are like me, you don’t know much about Palestine. What is it like to live in a place that most Americans expect to be hostile and dangerous? While I don’t have a complete answer yet, this entry offers some preliminary observations about this amazing place.
PeriBlog X: A Palestinian Oktoberfest. Beer is one the last things I would have ever associated with Palestine. Islam forbids the consumption of alcohol, so I wasn’t expecting to find a full-fledged celebration of suds in the country.
PeriBlog XI: O Little Town of Bethlehem. Does this Palestinian town live up to its show tunes? Having begun the month with an investigation of the place where Jesus died, I now travel to the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem to explore the cave where many believe he was born.
That Guy Gets Around…
What’s New in Old News and the Peripatetic Historian blog are my electronic main outlets. If that isn’t enough content for you, I also post, near daily, on Twitter. There you will find pithy ruminations and photographs as they come out of my camera.
So, if you’re here for the pictures rather than the words, Twitter…that’s the place to find me.
Twitter User Name: @rj_goodrich
Or:
…but He Needs Your Help to Grow a Little Faster
What’s New in Old News has been experiencing steady growth since I launched my official quest in May to peripateticate around the world. Our community is closing on one hundred subscriber mark, and, in a development that is both exciting and a little frightening, my family, friends, and former students are no longer the majority of the subscriber base.
Many people I have never met have signed up for the newsletter, which is both amazing and a bit surreal. I am delighted you are here and hope you continue to receive value from this monthly missive.
What’s New in Old News is, and always will be, a free publication. I would appreciate it, however, if you could help me spread the word about the newsletter and maybe put a little spike in our subscriber graph. If you know someone (or several someones) who might be interested in joining our ranks, could you forward them a copy of this newsletter?
Alternatively, Halloween arrives at the end of this month. You could print out copies of What’s New and stuff them into trick or treat sacks: “Here kid, read this. It’s better for your teeth.”
In either case, I need your help to spread the word about the newsletter. Here’s a handy share link that will allow you to forward this to interested parties (no salesperson will call):
Thanks again for being part of this. Be safe, be sensible, and I will be back next month.